shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
