She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
