This girl is more easily done than said...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
