she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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