so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
