he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
