she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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