is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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