You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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