I just saw a hot homeless man
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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