Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
