how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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