I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
