We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
