38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
