Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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