You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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