do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
