butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
