2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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