I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
