I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
