D3 body, D1 cock
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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