so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
