As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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