did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
