My liver just broke up with me...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
