I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
