I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
