ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
