I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
