last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
