At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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