this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
