Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
