i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize