1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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