last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
