he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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