Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize