I must be too annoying 4 u.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
