I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
