can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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