[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
