he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
