DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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