We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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