That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
