The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
