fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
we made out on top of his cat.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
