I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
