Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
