The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
