There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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