How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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