oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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