thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
