I want to have your abortion
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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