When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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